Social Network Humour.

So this is my first post, and I feel there there are a certain set of rules one has to follow in writing these types of things - it has to be funny, and it has to be intriguing. In saying that, I thought I would baptise this through writing about something that almost every human being submits their mindless soul to these days: Social Networks.

Just today, I saw a tweet on Facebook's first real competitor (Twitter) which I found rather interesting, and to quote it in a social-network-appropriate way:
"@funnyfacts_: Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people 'Happy Birthday,' ever."

Yes, of course it is funny. Because it is true.

Before the era of Facebook, status updates and wall posts, people carried around these amazingly useful things called diaries. What is that strange word that you have written there, you ask? I shall say it again: DIARIES! These, sometimes small, sometimes large books with paper in them, and each page had a date printed on it - no, not an event, an actual date that had been typed out and printed onto real paper which was bound to other paper onto hardcover material.

These books were very useful to people as they went about their day-to-day business: writing in important meeting dates, holiday time, and most importantly: birthdays.

Now, when I was a kid, before Facebook probably even existed, or wasn't as popular as it is today, I had probably written in my diary only my immediate family's birthdays: my brother's birthday, my mother's birthday and my dad's birthday - all of which were from my own memory. My parents would further remind me of my grandparent's birthdays, my aunt and uncle's birthdays and their children's birthdays. I would then take my special diary to school and ask only my closest friends when their birthdays were and would scribble them in my special paper-reminder-book (or, once I learned what my brain was used for, I would look through last year's diary and copy the birthday dates into the new diary, so it looked like I was clever and remembered everyone's birthdays by heart.

But now, we have this fancy little gadget called a laptop, or even a cell-phone - oh, excuse me, smartphone - which allows you to log on to the ever-so-important Facebook, which conveniently reminds you of everyone of your Facebook friends's birthdays - even the ones you know like-i mean know.

So now, we are stuck in this polite world where one can badmouth another person over a status and get away with it (I, too, am guilty of this in my younger years), and we find ourselves almost obliged to write on some birthday boy or girl's wall (which, might I add, is illegal to vandalise a wall), even if we don't know them better than an Eskimo living in the Antarctic.

But, (lo! and behold!) if you do not post on this almost-a-stranger's wall, to wish them an emotionless "Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day!" you are instantly the enemy in their eyes. Because, well, we all know how important it is to have someone write on your wall. You are so not cool if you don't have people that write on your wall.

But, if you are one of those people who writes on every birthday boy or girl's wall (kudos for you), to wish them the greatest of days, with hugs and kisses sent through your computer screen, you find yourself expecting that conventional status which is posted either the evening of, or the day after, by that special birthday boy or girl, saying "Thanks so much for all of the birthday wishes! My day was great, thanks to everyone who made it so great."

Because, being the birthday boy or girl, you don't want to sound ungrateful for all of the emotionless, time consuming wall posts that filled your notifications like a virus.

I even came across a status a few months back that really made me laugh. It was by a special birthday boy, who I knew from primary school, but never spoke a word to. Not even a passing "hello!" whilst walking through a shopping mall. Needless to say, I did not wish him a happy birthday. So, as the day progresses, my news feed is filled with fellow primary school classmates wishing him the best day ever - at one point I even found myself on his profile page, almost typing a birthday wish because I felt excluded, but I did not post it in the end - and at the end of the day, I came across this lovely status, from the birthday boy himself:

"4 all who sent bday messages :) thank u :) for u who didnt :) ur poes :)"

For those of you who are as confused as I was in reading this, he was trying, in the best vocabulary I have ever seen, to make me feel terrible for not hitting buttons on my laptop keyboard to wish him a meaningless Happy Birthday.
Yes. He is that kind of guy.

So anyways, here's a life lesson to learn from this: always, ALWAYS post on somebody's wall to wish them a happy birthday. Because if you don't, you're a poes.
I know I will from now on.

And to end this post on a lighter note, remember:
It's not official, until its Facebook Official.